Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Fast Broken

Oops. Our church (which by the way is also where I work) started a day of prayer and fasting for missions last night and it’s supposed to run till 6:00 this evening. Well, I totally forgot, and I guess Sarah did too because she brought stuff from Panera bread this morning. I ate my bagel (who is seriously going to pass up a cinnamon crunch bagel from Panera) and went on with my day. Then just a few moments ago, Sarah walked into my office and reminded me that everyone has been encouraged to fast today. Oops. =) I guess everyone will have day-old Panera tomorrow.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Phoebe O'Shea

“Phoebe O’Shea…has to go to the bathroom”

This was the message left on our voicemail this weekend by and elderly woman living in an area assisted living center. It was the funniest message we have ever had. If I had a way to do it, I would copy the message and try to post it on my blog as a sound file.

What made me laugh even more is that during the beginning of the message, you just heard her breathing, and then as if she was sick of being on hold, she says the first thing that comes to mind. That will be me as an old lady! Random stuff is always coming out of my mouth.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Am I On Candid Camera?

This was by far the craziest, weirdest, you name it, weekend I think I’ve had in a really long time (if ever). It definitely deserves a shout out on my blog.


The Tire

This weekend, I went with a group from our Singles Ministry to Tahlequah, OK to float the Illinois (the “s” is silent by the way) River. This is an annual event and unlike past years, the weather and river were actually perfect for floating. With the exception of my quick exit on what turned out to be the wrong exit, the drive down was uneventful until right before Suzy and I reached the Tahlequah/Muskogee exit. For some unknown reason, I all of a sudden got a flat tire. I was very fortunate though, because it happened right as we were coming up on an exit, so I was able to get off the highway and pull over someplace that didn’t have a lot of traffic. I get out of my car and yes, I did have a flat tire.

Problem was, my dad never would show me how to change a tire because he said that I would always have a man around to do it. Now I was never na├»ve enough to believe this, but he wasn’t going to show me how and I guess I never thought to ask any of my guy friends or boyfriends. Anyway, we had just had some friends pass us right before this happened, so we called them and they turned around and came back to help us. I think I would have been able to figure it out on my own, but I couldn’t get the lug nuts off. Thankfully Chris had a T-iron and was able to get them off and put my spare tire on for me.

So, spare tire intact, we proceed to continue our journey to the War Eagle Resort just outside of Tahlequah. Since it was after 9:30, Wal-Mart’s automotive center was already closed, so we just decided to stop by there on our way back from the river before we headed home. Bad choice. Had I been a wise woman, I would have gotten up early and taken my car to Tahlequah BEFORE we floated and picked it up on our way back through town. But NOOOO, it was just a flat tire. How long could it take Wal-Mart in Tahlequah to fix a flat tire? The answer to that question…3 hours. But what makes it worse, is that Suzy and I opted to not take a shower before we left the river, so we looked BEAUTIFUL to say the least. We did fit in with the locals though, so it wasn’t so bad.

So here is the ultimate question…what do you do for 3 hours in a Wal-Mart in Tahlequah, OK? Answer…eat in the snack bar and buy nail polish remover, a nail file and toe nail clippers and give yourself a pedicure. =) Oh yes, I have officially crossed the line into white-trashdome. Thankfully we were out of Tahlequah by 7:21 p.m. on Saturday and were basically incident free the rest of the way home.


Ultimate Redneck Vacation

I cannot in good conscience write on my blog without making mention of the observations I had on the river this weekend. I have floated the Illinois many, many times in my life and though I have been aware of this fact in the past, it never really hit home till this weekend. Floating the Illinois River is the ultimate redneck vacation. Oh to have a video to post of what we saw! I just can’t even begin to put into words what we experienced, but let me try:

1) You have women in bikinis that frankly, the person who sold them that bikini should be arrested for inflicting cruel and unusual punishment on the rest of the world.
2) When it comes to tattoos, some people need to learn the concept that “less is more”. It’s almost like they can’t stand to have an inch of skin not covered with ink. Why?
3) Old skanky men with much younger skanky women. I know the world isn’t lacking in skanky men, so why do these women feel the need to hook up with men old enough to be their grandfathers. It’s not like these men are sugar daddies or anything. The most they’ll be leaving behind when the pass from this world is their run down trailer in the trailer park. Why bother?
4) Frat boys. I must say the river had a large number of frat boys this time. The incident that really got me were the group of boys who stood on a bank discussing how they were going to get women to show them their chests. Yes, they were putting a lot of thought into this. I think what they decided on was this “Hey ladies (pause, pause, pause) show us your tits!” And who ever said college boys never grow up?
5) Beer. Lots and lots of beer. I think we were the only ones on the river not under the influence of something. The only thing scarier than intoxicated people in boats is the thought that eventually, all of these intoxicated people would be getting off the river and driving home.


Mark

Now to a subject that has nothing to do with Tahlequah at all. Some of you may have heard about this guy that I was sort of seeing a few years ago named Mark. Some mutual friends really thought we needed to meet, so they gave him my email address and we proceeded to email and call regularly for 7 months before we actually met. What’s funny is that he lives here in Edmond, so distance didn’t have anything to do with us taking so long to meet. But by time we did, we knew each other pretty well and seemed to hit it off. We went out a couple of times and things seemed to be going well. To make a long story short, he traveled a lot with his job, so he called me one night to say he was going to be out of town for the next few weeks, but wanted to know if I wanted to go do something when he got back and I told him sure, just give me a call when he got back. That was the last time I talked to him on the phone. I got a few half-hearted email responses after that, but that was it. Since I decided I had better things to do with my life, I just quit emailing him and hadn’t heard from him since.

Then yesterday, I was sitting in church and this family walked in late and sat in front of me. I didn’t really pay any attention to them till I got up to leave and noticed that the guy was Mark! The woman he was with had a son about 6 or 7, so I knew it wasn’t his child and the way she introduced him, I could tell they weren’t married. I am pretty sure he recognized me because he looked like a deer in the headlights when our eyes met. I turned really quick and started talking to Lindsy (which by the way Lindsy, this is why what ever I was saying to you was extremely distracted and probably made no sense). Well, that answers my question of whether or not he was still in the area. =)

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Impatience

People are always telling me what a patient person I am. Personally I feel like a very impatient person when you really get down to it. I can put up with bad behavior from people (at least the ones I care about) most of the time because I have a great deal of hope it’s only temporary. But when it comes to the big picture…that’s a different story.

So often (this being one of those times) I’m faced with a difficult situation that I know in time will be resolved because I’m spending time in prayer about the situation and have faith that God will always do what’s best. Even if the result isn’t what I want ideally, I know God’s will is so much better than anything I could possibly desire on my own. Problem is, I want to know God’s will NOW. I find myself thinking, “If God would just show me the outcome, I’m okay with not knowing what it will take to get there.”

Yes, I know it’s in these times that character is built. Trust me, I’m quite the character! To make things worse, I never seem to want to take the easy way out. It’s like a game show and I’m being shown a “sure thing” behind curtain one, but NOOOO, I’m the type that will choose curtain two and take the hard road if I think the outcome could be even better than the sure thing. So I guess I can’t complain too much because I guess I’m partly responsible for my times of struggle. And really, it’s not that I can’t handle the struggles that come my way (especially this time), I’m just tired of “handling the struggles.” I’ll continue to push through whatever comes my way, but it sure would be nice to have a break now and then. =)

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Ramblings About My Day

Well, since I'm looking for something to do, I thought I would ramble a little about my day. Let me start by saying that today is the first day of VBS. Yes, it is a mad house around here. It has quieted down a little at the moment, but will be picking up here again in about half an hour. We've already had our first injury of the year. A child ran into one of our secretaries and broke her toe. She is now sporting a lovely boot. =)

Even though the theme changes every year, some things with VBS always stay the same. There will always be crying children, we will always have at least one child during the week go missing which requires an all-out man hunt. We will always have people calling wanting us to go locate someone for them (finding a needle in a haystack would be easier). Not everything about VBS is bad because we always get cookies (well, not last year, they forgot about us).

The lovely spots all over my ankle appear to be a really bad case of chiggers. How I got chiggers on my knee, I'll never know. I guess they travel.

Today, I get to go to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned. Normally I wouldn't be excited about this, but I'm looking forward to getting out of the office.

Last night, I mowed the yard. It was so high that the poor mower almost didn't survive. Now we just need an edger. It also probably wouldn't hurt for us to plant some more flowers. Doubt I'll bother this summer. Maybe next.

Well, that's as random as it's going to get today.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Attack of the...Well, I'm Not Sure


My Ankle Posted by Hello

This is a picture of my ankle. The little red dots are just a sampling of what is all over my legs. My best bet is that it is chigger or mosquito bites, but with all the poison ivy I came into contact with, that isn't completely out of the question I guess (I have never had poison ivy, so I really don't know for sure.) What ever it is, it doesn't really itch, just looks UGLY. I might be wearing pants the rest of the week. The darker red dot above the bone in my ankle is from a stick that attacked me while I was raking. I guess that's the price you pay for a weekend in the great outdoors.

On another note, if you ever find yourself in need of a clothes line, Racheal Henry and I are your gals! We built eight of them for the girls cabins as Silver Maple Camp. Can't promise they'll withstand a massive wind storm, but they look good and we got to use power tools! =) If I ever get a copy of the picture from Racheal, I'll post it.

Friday, June 17, 2005

When All Seems Lost

This is one of those "well-timed" forwards that I received from a co-worker and I thought I would post it.

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for GOD to rescue him, but every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

One day, after scavenging for food he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. "GOD, how could you do this to me?" he cried.

Early the next day he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" Asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because GOD is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain, and suffering.

Remember that . . .
The next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground, it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of GOD.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Who Am I?

I absolutely love the words to this song, so I thought I would share.

Who Am I
Casting Crowns

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

Monday, June 13, 2005

The Point System

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the man: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-3)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
in the rain (+8)
but return with beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with an iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
named Tina (-4)
who is a dancer (-6)
and has silicone implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2) and it's called "Death Cop" (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-800)

ANSWERING THAT "BIG" QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you LOSE points no matter what!)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-1000)

Now what chance do Men have?

Friday, June 10, 2005

Warning Label

sbon74 may explode without warning
M
EXPLOSIVE

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Fire Flies

Last night after Bible Study, I decided to go outside and lay in my hammock for a little bit. While I was out there, I saw my first fire fly of the season! I like fire flies. They remind me of being a kid. Of course my fondest memories of fire flies are a little deranged. Though on occasion I would catch them and put them in jars like most kids, most of the time my cousins and I would catch them, pinch their tails off and write on ourselves with them (it glows you know). Yeah, we were sick. But it was fun.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Advice

I have really been struggling with how to handle something for quite a while now. I finally got to a point yesterday where I decided that I really needed to do something about it, but wasn’t sure if I was handling it the right way, so I called my friend, Tonna because I knew she would tell me what she thought. But the thing is, if you know me very well at all, you know that I rarely ask for advice because I’m not necessarily going to take it. I’ll listen to what you have to say, file it away, but when it’s all said and done, I will make my own informed decision.

When I called, she wasn’t there, so this is how the message went, “hey it’s me. I need some advice before I do something stupid, not that I’m necessarily going to take your advice, but I just need to know what you think.”

What was funny was when she called me back. She knows me too well because her first thought when she heard me say “I need your advice” was “you won’t take it.” She laughed when that was exactly what I said next. But she pointed out some important points:
1) A real friend knows you well enough to know whether or not you’ll take their advice and isn’t offended when you don’t.
2) A real friend knows all of your faults and loves you despite them.

So, am I going to take her advice…some of it (or going to at least try – I’ll tell you tomorrow, maybe). Her points were valid, but I guess I don’t give up too easily.

Eternal Rest

I recieved this email from a friend and liked what it had to say.

"Growing older. Aging. We laugh about it, and we groan about it. We resist it, but we can't stop it. And with the chuckles and wrinkles come some serious thoughts and questions about what happens when we die. Is death when we go to sleep? Or is death when we finally WAKE UP?

Several years ago, I remember my young daughters falling asleep on the floor at bedtime. I would pick them up, carry them up the stairs and put them in their beds. Why? I KNEW IT WAS TIME FOR THEM TO REST, AND I KNEW THE REST WAS BETTER UP THERE THAN DOWN HERE.

DOESN'T GOD DO THE SAME? DOESN'T HE, KNOWING MORE THAN WE, CARRY US TO THE PLACE OF REST HE CREATED? For God, death is no tragedy. In God's economy, THE TERMINATION OF THE BODY IS THE BEGINNING OF LIFE.

Can you imagine if one of the sisters objected to my decision to carry her upstairs? 'Don't take her. We'll miss her, Please keep her here so we will all be together.'

How would I answer? 'Oh, but she'll rest so much better in the room I have prepared for her. Besides, you'll be coming up yourselves soon.'

By calling us home, God is doing what any father would do. He is providing a better place to rest. A place he has 'prepared for us.' HEAVEN IS NOT MASS-PRODUCED; IT IS TAILOR-MADE.

By the way, I've often thought it curious how few people Jesus raised from the dead. He healed hundreds and fed thousands, but as far as we know he only raised three: the daughter of Jairus, the boy near Nain & Lazarus. WHY SO FEW? COULD IT BE BECAUSE HE KNEW HE'D BE DOING THEM NO FAVORS? COULD IT BE BECAUSE HE COULDN'T GET ANY VOLUNTEERS? COULD IT BE THAT ONCE SOMEONE IS THERE, THE LAST PLACE THEY WANT TO RETURN TO IS HERE?

We must trust God. We must trust not only that he does what is best but that he knows what is ahead.

THE PROBLEM WITH THIS WORLD IS THAT IT DOESN'T FIT. OH, IT WILL DO FOR NOW, BUT IT ISN'T TAILOR-MADE. WE WERE MADE TO LIVE WITH GOD, BUT ON EARTH WE LIVE BY FAITH. WE WERE MADE TO LIVE FOREVER, BUT ON THIS EARTH WE LIVE BUT FOR A MOMENT.
We were made to live holy lives, but this world is stained by sin.

TRUST THAT THIS WORLD WEARS LIKE A BORROWED SHIRT. HEAVEN, HOWEVER, WILL FIT LIKE ONE TAILOR-MADE."

From 'A GENTLE THUNDER' BY Max Lucado

Friday, June 03, 2005

Great Relationship Advice

Great advice from Billy Joel (of course if he had taken his own advice, he might still be married to Christy Brinkley.) Hmmm...

Tell Her About It

Listen boy, Don't want to see you let a good thing slip away
You know I don't like watching anybody make the same mistakes I made

She's a real nice girl, and she's always there for you
But a nice girl wouldn't tell you what you should do

Listen boy, I'm sure that you think you got it all under control
You don't want somebody telling you the way to stay in someone's soul
You're a big boy now you'll never let her go
But that's just the kind of thing she ought to know

Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason to accept that you're for real
Tell her about it
Tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her let her know how much she means

Listen boy, It's not automatically a certain guarantee
To insure yourself you've got to provide communication constantly
When you love someone, you're always insecure
And there's only one good way to reassure

Tell her about it
Let her know how much you care
When she can't be with you tell her you wish you were there
Tell her about it
Every day before you leave
Pay her some attention give her something to believe

Cause now and then she'll get to worrying
Just because you haven't spoken for so long
Though you may not have done anything
Will that be a consolation when she's gone

Listen boyIt's good information from a man who's made mistakes
Just a word or two that she gets from you could be the difference that it makes
She's a trusting soul, she's put her trust in you
But a girl like that won't tell you what you should do

Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason to accept that you're for real
Tell her about it
Tell her all your crazy dreams
Let her know you need her, let her know how much she means

Tell her about it
Tell her how you feel right now
Tell her about it
The girl don't want to wait too long
You got to tell her about it
Tell her now and you won't go wrong
You got to tell her about it before it gets too late
You got to tell her about it
You know the girl don't want to wait - you got to tell her about it